Getting Married this Spring?
by Judy Lewis

     Traditional wedding guidebooks and planners recommend that the bride and groom begin planning their wedding at least a year in advance. One might argue that the myriad of details involved in organizing a wedding requires a significant amount of time. It is, however, the exception that is quickly becoming the rule. For a variety of reasons, young couples today in the Hudson Valley are choosing the fast mode of wedding planning and are opting to spend less time planning and more time celebrating. Having made the decision to get married, they ask, why postpone the special day just because of logistics? In the fast-paced life that so many young people live today, devoting anywhere between twelve and eighteen months toward planning the events of just several days seems an ineffective way to allocate precious time. Finally, for some couples extenuating circumstances-anything from family illness, to new jobs in new cities, to military service-make necessary a "last minute" wedding.
     For the purposes of this article we will not discuss elopement, which offers its own advantages and disadvantages and presents its own issues. Let's begin with the unequivocal statement that weddings planned on a short-term basis are absolutely possible. The obstacles they present are categorically surmountable.What's most important is that couples keep in mind that they are planning a special, joyful event and that the process, although stressful, should be pleasurable.
     Some general guidelines will prove helpful with short-term planning. Couples should begin by prioritizing, focusing on what is really important to them. The crucial word here is "them." Although couples should by no means ignore the wishes and concerns of family and friends, it is after all, the couple's wedding, and it is their feelings and opinions that should be paramount. An early family meeting to discuss the couple's priorities and set ground rules for family and friends is an essential element of any successful wedding.
     Let's return to setting priorities. Several important elements will, in combination, create a couple's wedding day. These elements are: budget, date, style, location(s), and members of the wedding party. The trick is, of course, to get all of the elements in sync, so that the couple does not need to give up its wishes for one element in order to accommodate another.
     It is at this point that the couple needs to decide what in their minds is most important. What factors, should they need to be compromised, will "shatter their dream?" Is it the location that's most important? Is at the style of the wedding? Is it the people who will be attending? Is it a specific date? Once these elements have been placed in order, decisions become much easier.

Budget
Most couples will need to work within a budget, so it is wise to carefully examine their resources, as well as the resources of family members who have agreed to participate financially. Couples need to keep in mind that most offers of financial support usually come "with some strings attached," and, should the couple accept such assistance, the level of participation of those family members will almost always increase, probably justifiably. It's a trade-off! The Wedding Guidebook articles on www.HudsonValleyWeddings.com, "Your Wedding Budget and Budget Issues," which includes "Who Pays for What" and "How to Trim the Budget," as well as "A Budget List . . . for Organized Planning" will make working out financial details easier and help couples to keep from omitting peripheral or small ticket items. Once again, prioritizing is essential. What one bride might never consider forgoing, another may view as an unnecessary frill. With their priorities clearly in mind, couples need to set and absolutely stick to their budget.

Date
Choosing the date is next. A number of factors come into play here. Should the couple wish an outdoor wedding, the season needs to be considered. More lead time is required to plan a more elaborate wedding or if many guests will be coming from a distance. Couples may find that wedding professionals, such as photographers and florists, are booked on holidays and during the peak wedding season, which begins in May and runs through October. The easy answer, of course, is to book the wedding off-season. There are, however, other options. A midweek wedding, a Friday or Sunday evening wedding, or an off-time hour (e.g., early morning wedding and brunch receptions) should be considered. A change in the type of food service, from sit-down to buffet, for example, may allow a caterer to squeeze in an additional wedding on an otherwise unavailable date. A wedding or location consultant may also provide information about venues and locations that the average couple might not be able to find on its own.

Style
There are almost as many choices for the style of a wedding as there are different personalities of brides and grooms. A wedding is at its core a celebration. The style of event a couple should choose should fit with who they are!
A couple should first ask themselves some basic questions about what they really want: A formal or informal wedding? A large, grand affair, an intimate one, or somewhere in between? A theme-related or traditional wedding? A wedding with music for listening, dancing or both? A civil or religious ceremony, civilian or military? (Considering that so many reservists are being called to duty, military weddings may increase dramatically in the near future.) A more formal, sit-down dinner, somewhat less-formal buffet, a multi-course dinner, a cocktail reception or an appetizer only party? The Hudson Valley offers a potpourri of possibilities: from the aristocratic old New York tradition out of Edith Wharton to an alternative Woodstock, flowers-in-the-hair affair.

Location
Which brings us to the choice of location. Although time constraints may offer obstacles, the Hudson Valley offers an amazing variety of both traditional and alternative/ unusual wedding locations. Couples who are willing to "think outside the box" about the dates and the time of their wedding may well find some traditional wedding locations available. The choices range from elaborate hotel ballrooms to low-cost local VFW halls, fire stations, and church and synagogue back rooms. Depending on the style of wedding the couple wants, they may also consider a country club, favorite restaurant, historic site, mansion, villa, estate, chateau, landmark building, museum, art gallery, yacht, inn, B & B, seasoned barn, park, garden, vineyard, destination resort, alternative resort, or the ever-popular home/house wedding on their own or another's property.
There are several resources for locating the perfect wedding spot in the Hudson Valley. Many local/regional newspapers and magazines regularly publish wedding supplements or provide directories of wedding services. Yellow page telephone directories offer listings of wedding related services. The Internet also offers an excellent on-line resource at www.HudsonValley Weddings.com.
Last, but certainly not least, is the selection of the wedding/bridal party. A wedding is after all a celebration to be shared with friends and family. Although last in this article's list, people more than things and places, are a critical element in the success of any wedding. With a wedding that is being planned "last minute," the choice of people may be influenced by logistics. Guests will need enough time to make travel and lodging arrangements and will, of course, need to be available on the chosen wedding date. Being a guest at someone's wedding can involve financial expense as well, especially when the guest is not given a great deal of planning time. This can be a place where the couple needs to pick up part of the tab in order to ensure that those special people will indeed be able to participate.
It is not our intention to ignore or minimize the planning details that come before and after the wedding, such as choosing an engagement ring, purchasing and mailing announcements and invitations, pre-wedding parties (bachelor, bachelorette, rehearsal dinner), honeymoon travel and more. These too may involve some extra crunching, but by following priorities and by organizing, everything will ultimately get done. Again we suggest making use of available resources. The Wedding Guidebook on www.HudsonValleyWeddings.com provides a soup-to-nuts planner, covering all the issues discussed in this article as well as many more. The key for the couple is to stay focused, set priorities, stick to the ground rules they set, make full use of available resources, remember that people are more important than things and always, most of all, keep mindful that they are coordinating a happy occasion and should attempt to enjoy every moment of the process.

Judy Lewis is the Web Mistress of Hudson Valley Weddings (www.HudsonValleyWeddings.com), and author of its free, extensive, on-line Wedding Guidebook. The site also includes a Wedding Services Providers Directory, which includes hundreds of regional listings.